Are You Disciplined in FEAR or FAITH?
When I was growing up, I constantly always saw kids around me in school getting injuries – either sport related, or just a serious accident.
For example, in high school there was a new person breaking a leg EVERY, SINGLE DAY on the four flights of stairs because we always had so little time to go from building-to-building in only 4 minutes of time or because they were on a sports team or from dance. It was extremely easy to fall in my school (since there were thousands of us in the hallways at the same time) and I was one of the very few to never get in a serious accident. I dodged that bullet…
When I graduated college, I was hanging around a lot of new people, and naturally you start sharing you’re personal experiences. Most people I knew at that point had either broken a limb or had surgery. I repeatedly would say,
“I’ve never broken any bones or limbs. I’ve never had any surgery”….this became a HUGE FEAR of mine.
One day, I was finally hired for this job I slaved to attain through a 9 month internship… started training… and got into a debate with my mother about this 9am-6pm job vs. my 21 year Acting Career while making myself juice in the kitchen. During this disagreement, I went into the refrigerator. There was an unstable item which pushed this glass bottle out of the fridge…
AND I CAUGHT IT…but not before it collided with this thin glass pitcher.
This chopped through my thumb, severing my tendon. I saw the bone, then a river of blood. I was bleeding everywhere.
Long story short this is what happened…
1. I finally got into that “serious accident” I feared for so long.
2. I needed surgery, needed a blood transfusion, and found out I had an issue with my blood.
4. I LOST my job even though they said I’d have a job when I healed.
5. I FINALLY had an acting opportunity that occurred IMMEDIATELY the day after my surgery, so I missed out. That was the first and only opportunity that had popped up in months.
6. When I healed, I took a job that made me work more, doing what I DIDN’T sign up for, yet being paid for less.
I was DEPRESSED…used to say things like “I wish someone would just shoot me in the head and end it now“…crying in the storage closet at work, in the bathroom, at the front desk…and I also wound up going through a break-up. This was the lowest point of my life. I started listening to audiobooks like The Key: The Missing Secret for Attracting Anything You Want. I had listened to it before, but I thought it was COMPLETE nonsense. GARBAGE.
How could I be the reason why I got into such a TERRIBLE ACCIDENT? How did I MAKE my surgery, blood transfusion, the loss of my job, the long dry spell in my acting career, happen??? For the longest time I REFUSED to believe this was true until I SUMMED up all of my experiences. IT WAS TRUE.
My VIVID IMAGINATION MADE IT HAPPEN. This was MORE than overwhelming and made me sad that I did this to myself. Then, I was RELIEVED because I learned that I WAS THE ONE who could turn it around! If I was AS DISCIPLINED in my BELIEF/FAITH as I was in my FEARS (WHICH I MADE HAPPEN)….Then, there’s NO LIMIT as to HOW FAR I can go in life. I DECIDED to take RESPONSIBILITY for my life, instead of letting life happen to me.
You want to know what happened when I made this turn around?
1. I finally got new representation.
2. I finally got called to audition… 2nd audition I got, I booked a movie called Gimme Shelter working with Vanessa Hudgens, Rosario Dawson, Brendan Fraser, and James Earl Jones… something I’ve waited for all the years I’ve been acting (since I started at 4 years old).
3. I keep things up the way I’m going, I’m about to be a 6 figure Earner from EMPLOYING MYSELF!
Now, having faith requires DISCIPLINE…you can’t believe today and not tomorrow, you have to work CONSISTENTLY on your faith. So TELL ME…
What are you disciplined in? FAITH or FEAR?